[Note: In an ongoing effort to have everyone in the office save perhaps the janitor's chihuahua writing content for us, we proudly present this new feature — FrontLein — wherein tech developer Craig Leinoff shares some intra-Jewcy trivia with you, the patient reader. Craig's lunches do indeed stink up the joint something awful. — MW]
Before I go ahead and make up a series of elaborate and tangential lies in an attempt to exculpate myself after accidentally and single-handedly demolishing the site yesterday, I'd like to offer our best wishes to Jewcy's Editor and President, Tahl Raz.
Tahl recently was in a very bad car accident this weekend near Poughkeepsie. He was driving on the Taconic Parkway during heavy rain (a deathtrap, at best) when his car slid off the road and flipped three times. A normal editor would have settled for merely overturning his vehicle, but Tahl Raz is no normal editor.
Anyway, his car was basically destroyed and, although he unbelievably suffered no broke bones, he apparently punched both hands through the car's sunroof (presumably in some final display of defiant, Israeli machismo). Long story short, Tahl is in the hospital now (on morphine and doing very well) and Senior Editor Joey Kurtzman is flying out to New York to fill in temporarily.
Now on to other office news.
Every day, I bark orders at the rest of the staff to fulfill my every whim. I have a very tenuous relationship with the rest of the crew in which I make idle threats about deleting the site unless my demands are met (coffee, donuts and the like), they ignore me, and I subsequently do nothing.
Well yesterday all that changed. I was eating my double cheddar burger and onion rings from Lucky's (ignore the woefully inaccurate reviews; the place is a Godsend) when Weiss starts freaking out. "God, what is that SMELL?" he says, "What are you EATING?"
I tried to explain to Mike the basic principle of onion rings but he just wasn't buying it. Now bear in mind, this comes at the end of a long string of my-food-related-quarrels — apparently the smell of my Pesto Tortellini Salad wasn't up to Epicurus Weiss's standards (Izzy didn't seem to mind) — and I had had enough.
A few deft strokes later and half the site's images were gone. "That'll teach them," I thought. It wasn't long, though, before I realized that the responsibility to fix this sinister act would undoubtedly fall squarely on my shoulders, and I decided to rethink my decision.
A few short hours later (with everyone's help), and the site was back in full. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Looking to the future, Jewcy is proud to have a funny little short video in the works. You'll see it on the main page when it's done, so keep your eyes like a raw carrot: peeled.