Hit and Run (Day Two)

Day Two

From: Michael Helke To: Fiona Maazel Subject: Focus-Grouped for Gerry Adams' Approval

Fiona my Nona:

Dear me! Did you get a chance to read that Anonymous response to our first post? Scribe tried to lay down the law as if s/he were Officer Krupke disguised as Moses. (Or Lynne Truss disguised as Katherine White.) I’m assuming that s/he hasn’t read too many blogs.

And I love that last parting shot: “Yo, Helke, this applies to you too.” Does our first offense make us the blogospheric equivalent of gang-bangers? Grammar-bangers, perhaps?

After this cartoonish chiding, I just had to revisit Nerve.com and re-read some of the articles devoted to their latest issue’s theme, comics. Favorites include “Subterranean Homesick Blues: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was my Sex and the City” by Will Doig, and Peter Smith’s interview with Peter Bagge. Bagge’s storytelling makes me howl, though I’m among the die-hards who would have preferred it if he had left Hate as a black-and-white title; and I never would have thought that a pack of sai-sporting terrapin might have anything to do with a clatch of Gucci-sporting urban terrorists. Thank you, Doig, for opening my eyes.

The tenor of my evening thus elevated, I turned to The Elegant Variation – and wondered if the anonymous scribe might have been associated with Jarvas’s enterprise. Nah, concluded I: the Variation’s much wittier. First item to catch my eye: “Why Didn’t We Think of That?”, wherein we learn that Gerry Adams of Sinn Féin will only publish the third volume of his memoirs if good reviews can be guaranteed. See how many sublimely absurd notions you can find within the following sentence: “’Like most creative people, Gerry Adams is surprisingly sensitive,’ said Irish Times literary editor Ulysses Grant. ‘He finds it difficult to finish anything unless he’s absolutely sure that everyone will love it.’”

Just wanted to say that everyone should read Ulysses Grant’s memoirs of the Civil War, as they really put you at the scene of this historical event. Also, that Adams, like all writers, is a sensitive human being. Look at Louis-Ferdinand Céline. The capper, however, has to be that Adams is so sensitive that Grant suggests that he hasn’t even finished the volume yet. He wants those positive reviews etched in stone before he’s going to let the process proceed another millimeter. And you thought he was tough on the Oranges…

On to Crooked Timber. Must remind myself to catch the discussion “The Good Childhood: Does It Exist?” when it posts later today. I just want to know what kind of wheels they put on the word “good.” Could make for a nice philosophical workout.

3 Quarks Daily brought me down, as now I’m mourning the absence of Carl Sagan all over again. Nice to know that the New York Times – the paper of note, don’t you know – felt it proper to open with a disquistion on Sagan’s tendency for dragging out the word “billions.” But you do have to agree with the Times: when Sagan died, he seemed to have taken a lot of erudition and understanding with him. Witness the battle over the teaching of evolution in schools, the rise of religious fundamentalism, and the American government’s refusal to address the realities of climate change seriously.

Thought I saw some light at the end of the tunnel at Daniel Drezner’s site: news that a tentative deal with North Korea on the nuclear issue was at hand. But, of course, we should be wary, for as Drezner points out, we’ve seen this kind of thing before, back in 1994, with the Agreed Framework. Moreover, “There is one big difference between 1994 and 2007… the Democrats now control both houses of Congress. I'm not sure, therefore, whether conservative opposition will be as big of a problem as it was before. Of course, it's possible that the 8% of the Democratic caucus in the Senate now running for president will use the deal as an opportunity for foreign policy posturing.”

Like I said, I like Daniel Drezner and his point of view. But sometime he can be such a mood-killer.

I waded through seven inches of snow to bring you these words, Fiona. What have you got for us?

– Helke

From: Fiona Maazel To: Michael Helke Subject: Anonymous Is Right, I Am Stupid

Hey, Michael. I did just read that anonymous response to my letter. But since I’m so vapid and adolescent, I can’t muster the emotional wherewithal to care.

Gerry Adams: PW called A Farther Shore “suspenseful, biased, subversive, blunt and often funny.” The NYTBR said of Before the Dawn, “There are frequent flashes of good writing.” Some guy said of Cage Eleven, “I don't believe a terrorist, with a hatred of all things British will give a honest account of the UK justice system.” Adams has written nine books. Is this funny about, uh, Sin and Cessation? Yes. Yes, it is. Dear Anonymous: for more enlightening news about what goes on in the world of literature, do visit The Elegant Variation.

I’m pretty interested in this stuff about the good childhood, too. Crooked Timber is plugging a symposium on the topic, which seems just interesting enough to excuse the soporific and, I guess, pointedly derivative title of the event. The good soldier, the good daughter, I guess such titles are in vogue, sort of like the ubiquity of the “ist” suffix in novel titles of the late nineties. The Archivist, The Intuitionist, et al. Just read Sally Schrag’s 2-page précis, which you can download off the site. It’s compelling. Is a good childhood middle-class? Is that what the phrase means? Hey, Michael, did you have a middle-class childhood? Was it good? Mine was not so middle-class, not at all, and—oh, wait, I am being pithy again. Alas.

Here’s the thing I can’t handle about 3 Quarks Daily: it makes me feel stupid. Dear Anonymous: You’re right, I am stupid. Certainly unversed in a lot of what 3 Quarks thinks I should know, or rather, presumes I should know. This bit about Philip Rieff is apropos what, exactly? And who the hell is Philip Rieff? And why are none of these book titles in italics? I’m supposed to know Philipic (sic) Fellow Teachers is a book? And why is this post lifted from this month’s Book Forum with no attribution? I am totally confused.

So much so that I have no energy left to talk N. Korea except to say that Drezner is appropriately skeptical about today’s agreement with N. Korea. Kim Jong-Il is, I think, quite mad. I am simply waiting for him and Ahmadinejad to join forces and effect Holocaust. Oh, Anonymous, I almost forgot! For a more sober and conservative—and considerably less frivolous—discussion about Korea’s nonproliferation agreement, see Drezner.

Michael, I have to split. Will save delights arrayed by Nerve for later.

Cheers,

Fiona

To see Day One of Michael and Fiona's Movable Snipe, click here. To see the next round of letters, click here.

To see our first installment of Movable Snipe, featuring Spencer Ackerman and Melissa Lafsky, click here.

Fiona Maazel has previously written for Jewcy on why unhappiness is the key to happiness. She also participated in a piety contest with both the U.S. and Iranian presidents in our "Letters to Ahmadinejad" series.

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