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New In Jewcy: Negotiating Like a Macher

Jon Papernick, our intrepid Perfect Jew, is a secular, pork-eating, Social-Distortion-loving fiction writer who periodically ventures into the world of Jewish observance to see if he can hack it.  In previous installments, he’s worn a kippah for two weeks (which he didn’t much enjoy) and dipped in the mikvah (which he did).

Of course, Jon’s quest is a loaded one. What makes someone the perfect Jew?  Is it a question of following Jewish rituals?  Of understanding Jewish texts?  Or of living according to Jewish ethics? 

In today’s column, he’s setting his sights on something a little less lofty: Conforming to Jewish stereotypes.  Jon, it turns out, was born without the legendary business sense attributed to every generation of Hebrews since Moses talked God into serving the entire nation a free manna lunch.  Since a rabbi might not be able to help much, he took his plight to a negotiation expert, Moshe Cohen, who turned him into the Donald Trump of MFAs.  Read all about it here.

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