With all the Judith Regan cabal brouhaha of this past week, I thought I'd share with you a post that's near and dear to my heart. It expresses the plight of those of us Jews who aren't seeing our yearly residual checks and therefore not directly cashing in on the benefits of this Jewish media cabal.
Yet despite this immense and conspiratorial ownership of most of the world's wealth, some of us Jews are not getting our share. I for, one, have not received a residual check since 1997. I think there was a glitch when I filled out a change of address form at that time (we Jews do not control the Postal Service, as it requires too much walking around). As a result, I have become an oxymoron. That's right: I'm Jewish. But I'm poor. This has left me in the slightly awkward position of having to miss out on many of the advantages of my Hebraic heritage, such as siphoning off profits to Israel, keeping the residents of North Dakota in low-wage jobs and being able to afford a weekly meal at Barney Greengrass.
So I make this heartfelt plea to Ms. Regan: Please help me get back on the list. You clearly have evidence of this cabal, and, perhaps, you have a way to contact them. Can you send them my new address (I'm in Brooklyn, home to a many a poor Jew)?
Brooklyn hasn't been the "home to [the] poor Jew" for at least a few decades. I'd be suspicious.
P.S. I'm poorer. You can find my contact info by my mug. And I am especially fond of the Benjamins.