Now Reading
Cousin Moishe’s Thoughts On Your Upcoming Interfaith Wedding
Gefilte Guilt
Messy Meshugane. Again.
The Art of Kosher Cheesemaking
Smitten with Schpilkes
Behar, and the Source of all Sustenance
Conflicted Convert

Cousin Moishe’s Thoughts On Your Upcoming Interfaith Wedding

The following email was sent to Noah, a secular Jew about to marry his non-Jewish fiancee Sheila, by Noah’s baal teshuvah cousin Moishe. By an odd and fortuitous chain of events, the email found its way to Jewcy HQ. The people in this exchange are all real but have had their names changed to protect the innocent – and the guilty. In other words, we could not have made this shit up if we tried. That includes the spelling and grammar errors.

Subject: hi noah

So I have some very bad news that EVERY Torah observant Jew shares (not just Moishe) Regarding your plans: You may already know that you Childen will not be Jewish, but I think you are not really aware of what that really means… That means that while biologically you will have children, spiritually you will not. Furthermore, besides it being a punishable (in heaven) prohibition to marry a non-jew, you will not be married spiritually (under heaven.) In other words, you will have a secular marriage, or an invalid fradulent ‘religious’ marriage, but in any case you will not have a wife, therefore you will not fulfill the commandment to take a wife and as well you will not fulfill the comandment to have children.  Furthermore you will not be able to cook for your goyishe wife or children on Shabbos or on Festival days.

If your goyishe children convert, then they will still not be your children as they will receive new souls, not connected to you.

If you were to lend her money (for even a day, or even an hour) you must charge her interest. As first and foremost she is a non-Jew, second she will never be your wife in heaven, never.

You will be pretendng to married and it will be to a stranger, ultimately as your souls are truly incompatable in ways you do not experience, because you are distracted by where you have compatability, namely your acting like a King who is enjoying the company of a peasant, which is obviously a very lowly king and so your compatability as the opposite of holy and extraordinary.

Furthermore by going through with this you are thus sending not only yourself but your true Jewish soulmate into Alone-ness

And you will feel it, eventually, mark my words, and when you do, if you disregard everything I am writing and go through with it than G-d help you realize before you ave children, for then you will begin to see what you have done, as they reject you and your mother.  It is said that anti-semintism goes through Mothers Milk, so I pray these Goyishe children, G-d willing that you never have, but if you do that she’ll feed them formula for your sake.

Not for the worlds, because they will be weak.

First generation goyishe children off of a Jewish father are always weak.

They are psychologically strong as the Mind goes by father and their ideas can corrupt whole cultures, due to the inherent distortions in their composition, nevertheless they are weak. Your wife will eventuallly hate you also, or should Moshiach come, as he will very soon please G-d, she may be one of your Goyish slaves and when she is on all fours, not allowed to walk as a human you will see the animal you married.

G-d Bless you to understand that I have commnuicated this to you in a way that you will be aroused to stop what you are doing. The fact is that you are very weak and depressed to be going ahead with such plans.

There is no easy way for me to say this and forgive me if it makes you mad, but you should do all you can to stop this relationship.

While I am willing to jeopardise our relationship,. I am not willing to hide this information from you and so I have prepared to disclose to you the full extent of the dangers involved. While you are aware of the simple meaning, namely no jewish children, more specifically, a jew is FORBIDDEN to marry a non-Jew and as such will receive punishment in heaven for the transgression.  It is one of the sexual transgressions on equal par with adultery and incest and bestiality and homosexuality. maybe you don’t believe this but you should know you are a smart boy but you should know that you are not making a smart choice.

You should be fulfilled in this life and the world to come and ONLY marrying a having children with a Jewish woman will provide this the fact is that a jew is a much more advanced being than a non jew and basically the dynamics behind the relationship could be regarded as one who owns a pet and for what reasons- do they want a guard dog, a cute little cuddly cat, or a simple fish or a bird with clipped wings- or a stuffed moose on the wall- you see the goyishe ‘pet’ serves a role ultimately and since of course the goy can not serve a jew in a holy way (as a marriage in heaven) to think that this is possible is a psychological weakness that is a sort-of ‘blindness’ in other words it would be like getting a dog or a cat and not knowing why… and then of course there is a big surprise when it poops and smells and is a very big burden. In fact, in the frum community at-large, there are almost no pets, as of course animals are a fairly low energy and infact if a jew would own an animal, it is a general law not to leave it alone with a goy (for what they may, as a natural tendency of theirs) to do something nasty to the animal. which is the last point. not because this person is a bad person, nothing personal at all, as our sages teach us, but the fact is that she is corrupting you.

due to a psychological weakness, and this is not personal, on your part (specifically due to a lack of torah) you are left as so many are to fill the void with “the next best thing” ie. “wine, women and song” or even if the intentions ‘seem’ more pure ie- a ‘good girl’ to marry, make no mistake, it SHOULD NOT BE. It should not be and you should do everything in your power, specifically STRENGTHEN YOUR YIDDISHKEIT and you can come here to Yeshiva with me….we have a two month Summer program in the Montains for you to escape this disgusting low situation you are and and re-group and re-connect with your family

It was recently revealed to me the source of this problem.

My mother enticed you with an irish girl very early on, namely the supermodel, elle macpherson, in what felt like a superstar position to be in a young bright man in the most VIP seats available at the nicks game. As well to have an older influencial cousin in California, etc. me (with his goyishe tendencies form his goyishe father)

All you are doing is feeling like a bigshot with this pretty animal on your arm and it is only to fill a lack, which you likely do not perceive that you have, and I am inviting you to get real about that now.

I’m sorry to hurt your feelings.

Please do what you can to stop this return to home and to torah.

Time is running out. From a Torah perspective, this “Wedding” is WORSE than a funeral. Specifically, there is REALLY no joy in the matter, even for those who think there is. I will tell you honetsly, you are literally killing your mother, becasue literally that is what you are doing. You are being a branch o a tree that is not wishing to continue producing that tree (via fruits with seed pods, etc.) you are literaly cutting yourself off (by wishing to create goyishe children) from ALL your ancestors. You don’t have to do this Noah.

Please Don’t

You do not have to keep protecting your emptiness and loss and as long as you continues to judge yourself unfavorably as what caused such bad decisions to begin with- and for hyou to stop doing that would be almost destroying how your whole life is organized (to prove to others how successful/ smart) you are. Please get real and save his life now.

Not just decades are at stake here.

This is the modern holocaust.

And you are a modern Jew Killer should you go through with this.

This was said and sent in love. Moishe

I will delete without reading any ‘clever’ or ‘irritated’ responses that do not imediately acknowledge and address what I am saying.

I am interested in you ending this not having any kind of dialogue about it.

Although I am willing to answer legitamate questions and conect you with the proper resoursces to support you in making a good decision (to end it)

Regarding you mother, I want to stress that she is however she is with you is a COVER-UP but she is DISTRAUGHT and feels there is NOTHING she can do.  Se is resigned and feels weak to you and to her (that you must take responsibility for, especially as in her weakness she could never tell you) but you are doing an enormously selfish and stupid and cruel and disgusting thing.

and I am sorry for having influenced you in such a negative way for you to do such a stupid thing and be willing to create so much damage and through it all be blind to the fact.

Regards, Moishe

if you are mad please forgive me, but I am warning you DO NOT MARRY HER and END THE RELATIONSHIP or you will CAUSE EVEN MORE SUFFERING and you will be greatly punished in heaven (and that will have an effect in this life here as well) Love, Moishe

UPDATE: Check out the Series Box links above for Noah’s response (I promise it’s way shorter!).

This crazy article first appeared on May 29, 2009 and has been republished as part of the series JEWCYEST WEEK EVER.

View Comments (9)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Scroll To Top