Fences

In this week's parsha, we read of the need to construct a fence around the rooftops of a new home to prevent a fallen person from falling. While it might be easy enough to dismiss this tidbit as hmm, okay, make my apartment safe so nobody comes over here and sues me silly, easy enough, I think there are a few ways we can also think about this is on a more metaphorical level. We can call a lot of things our homes. Our emotional homes. Our actual homes. Our financial homes. And, of course we want to safeguard all of them. We try to make sound financial decisions, build nest eggs, and carry insurance to protect us from financial ruin if, G-d forbid, disaster strikes. We do, quite literally, take measures to keep our homes safe by making repairs as things arise that need fixing, and we keep the inhabitants safe with locks, alarms, air filters and smoke detectors. We try to eat healthy, fresh food and exercise regularly to protect our physical homes, our bodies. We stick up for our spouses/partners and friends and support them and invest time and effort into our relationships to safeguard the home base we find with them. We even, especially in recent years, recycle, use CFL bulbs and try to focus on sustainable living to protect and "build a fence" around our planet. All things that safeguard our homes, our sanctuaries. And, there's another that we shouldn't be to quick to overlook, either– our selves, our centers.

What steps do we take to build fences around that home? We set boundaries. Or, at least, we should. It's remarkably easy to get our boundaries pushed. Sometimes, even when it feels aweful to not be asserting them, we allow too much wiggle room on our personal limits. Why do we do that? Well, that's a whole other discussion. But, the point is, it's essential in safeguarding our sense of self to enforce our boundaries. I don't mean being so set and rigid that you refuse compromise. That'd be awful. No. There's a balance. And, we probably all have too many fences constructed in one area or another, issues we all have that we're distant about. And, that's fine. That's human. Everyone is iddly about something. I'm talking about just caring for yourself. I mean things like taking time to relax and care for ourselves without feeling guilty so we don't get worn down and so we can then return to our lives and jobs and loved ones refreshed and focused and without feeling resentful or put-upon. Being unwilling to tolerate certain behaviors in others. Knowing when to draw lines. Sharing responsibility rather than assuming it all yourself. Or, something as simple as saying "no" sets a boundary, and in doing so, presents to the world one who cares for themselves, not someone who gets constantly bogged down in the details of others' needs, sacrificing their own. Even in very positive situations– great friendships, very intimate romantic relationships, very satisfying careers– we have to care for ourselves in order to give and be able to connect and develop/sustain solidity. And, backing up to our original jumping off point, what about a "fallen one"..? Could it be that the phrase we're translating as "a fallen one from falling" refers to a clumsy person? A person pre-disposed to falling? Sure. Absolutely. Some might even want to call it a person who has already been fated to fall, one with his/her "number up". Sure. It could be that. And, in following that train of thought, we then hint at an obligation to protect one another, especially those we know are likely to encounter issue. But, in these other takes on the idea of home, who are the fallen people? Someone who is likely to do something anyway, a force we know to be fighting against us… Hmm. In ideas we flipped around a bit ago, "fallen ones" could be, for example, environmental hazards, things we know are working against the planet (just as the fallen one's potential or fate to fall might work against our putting up even the sturdiest fence) like pollution, toxins, deforestation and the like. Relationships unravel if left without care. Friends jump ship if we abandon them. We get sick if we neglect our health and well-being. Things that are working against us, but things we are nonetheless reminded to safeguard against anyway, lest the downfall of the "fallen one" be upon our house. An ounce of prevention being worth a pound of care. Yes.

Could it be that, in thinking of setting boundaries for ourselves and to care for ourselves, a "fallen one" could be people who challenge us? Negative coworkers, small children who, just by nature of being small children, need constant care, coworkers we pick up too much slack for? Sure. Easily. But, fallen ones can also, believe it or not, be beacons to us, in a way. Positive one at that. Reminders to go into potentially button-pushing situations with our minds focused, our priorities in order, our boundaries firmly set and our fences built, despite a few fallen ones around us.