Just a Reminder: We Are All Over The Place and Do Not All Look Alike

Smooth move, Halle Berry. Whatevs. Not the end of the world. It was a dumb thing to say, but, her blurt-first-think-later comment does bring up a point than really can't be emphasized enough because most of us have been guilty of it once or twice. We like to think it's a thing non-Jews say, but we do it to ourselves all the time. Whatever am I talking about? I'm talking about saying someone "looks" Jewish.

It always bugs me when I hear it. One a reality-tv show not long ago, a man said he hoped to meet a "Jewish-looking" woman to date. And, of course, I had to talk back to the television C'mon, dude! Shame on you! What the fuck does that mean?, knowing full well what he meant. If you're like me, it stings the ears a bit because not only does it say we all look alike, but it somehow discounts the Jewishness of anyone who isn't Ashkenazim.

I say all of this knowing I'm walking dangerously close to launching a race v. religion battle discussion. If you ask me, we're a peoplehood; Jewish is a soul-identity in my thinking. But, that's not where I'm going. I'm talking about race issues within Judaism and tweaking our word choices to make sure we include all Jews. I'm talking about how a friend of mine gets her feelings hurt when people look at her blonde hair and tell her to her face she looks like a shiksa and can't possibly be Jewish. About how people tell me I'm tall for a Jew. How a friend of mine who is Japanese-American and Jewish has people (Jewish and non) argue with him and tell him it's impossible that he is Japanese and Jewish when he "looks more Japanese than Jewish"… or how a friend of mine who is African-American and orthodox gets, similar, but even stranger comments and questions. (The Jewish Press ran a story that brought some of her "adventures in disbelief" to mind back in January.) Oy. These tiny little ideas floating around escape in tiny comments that make our words exclusionary and suggests these ideas, actually, aren't so tiny at all, but are rather large and problematic.

Quickly, let's review (though I think this info is slightly out of date) JewFAQ's very brief rundown on the difference between Ashkenazim, Sephardim and Mizrachim. Then, let's review further sub-divisions based on our specific personal regional diaspora spots, or hit this Judaism by Country list. Here is a really great resource, a very short, but information-packed rundown on the world's Jewish population. (By the by, other sites you might want on your radar are The American Sephardi Federation and Justice for Jews.)

I know, I know, but it bears repeating. Refreshers never killed anyone. And, yes, it's an Ashkenazim majority of worldwide Jewry at the moment, but we really have to chose our words to include all the members of our peoplehood.