Today, Jewcy got a letter from some readers in the Bay area. It looked like this:
Jewcy, Help us. We are 2 modern hipster Jews looking for a Ketubah that does not look like a 70's synagogue stained glass window. Where can we find one? -Two Jews in SF
And somehow, this query got forwarded to me, since everyone knows I'm hip as hell (okay, not really. But I am a loser who spends lots of time thinking about things like this).
The problem is that this succinct and slightly snarky question is dead-on. Every Ketubah I've seen DOES look like a 70's synagogue window. Or a Laura Ashley dress.
Oh, if only Yee-haw was into making religious marriage contracts.
But no matter how I hunt the web, I can't find much of interest. I can't find anything really special. Lots of floral swirls and stained glass, shooting stars and vines twining.
Which leads me to wonder:
1.. If some young Jewish entrepreneur/artist doesn't have a big (and growing) market staring them in the face? (if so, please backchannel me. I want to invest!)
2. If Jewcy readers hipper than me might not offer some advice on the matter?
3. What it would take to commission a hip piece of art, and get it converted into a Ketubah?
For question three, we really need to know what makes a Ketubah kosher, right? But the thing is, I don't think the rules of a Ketubah apply to the parchment, so much as the contract itself.
Leaving me to wonder if you HAVE to have it written in Aramaic (or Hebrew) by a scribe… or if a cool old typewriter and plain English would do the trick. In which case, anyone could make their own. (obviously, this all depends on what flavor of Jew you are… I think an orthodox Ketubah has different standards from Conservative. And if you're gay or intermarrying, you won't get a kosher Ketubah in any case…)
But the thing is, I think it's NOT about the piece of paper (or dead animal). I think it's about the language and the signing.
The language included has to follow certain rules. And the signing has to be officiated by a rabbi. But as far as I know, one could make their own Ketubah, out of a cool old magazine cover or funky lithograph…
Now correct me, please? Tell me I'm wrong… that the parchment must be aged a certain amount, or that only a Jewish scribe can do the text, and only when wearing clean socks and a matzoh ball down his pants…
I'm well aware I'm on shaky ground here. But I want to know!
What makes a Ketubah kosher, and what would keep a person from making their own?