Multiple Spirituality Disorder

Given the option, I write in "multiple spirituality disorder" whenever asked to declare my religion. I started doing this once I noticed how checking "Catholic" would obliterate first checking "Jewish." I also noticed that if I checked "Christian," "Catholic" would disappear which, at times, is fine with me. Other times, it is not.

Multiple spirituality disorder? Makes for a good laugh and some great conversation, but it’s probably more accurate to say my cultural identity is Jewish, although my religious practice clearly is not. In this regard, I’m not all that different from Jews who embrace Jewish culture while rejecting Jewish religious practices. Okay, what’s different, of course, is that Jesus as Christ thing.

But why Catholic?

Want to take an educated guess at how many times I get asked about my choice of preferred provider for worship? It’s an excellent question, especially given the Roman church’s long, despicable history of anti-Judaism and anti-Semitism.* I could do without how the question is usually posed.

To her everlasting credit, my mother, a retired Judaica editor, has always been intellectually curious about my journey. And because of the content and tone of her questions, I’ve been able to respond rather than react. I mention this because, in general, the vibe coming at me is not conducive to anything that might approximate dialogue. We do want dialogue, right?

I’m thinking specifically of someone at an Episcopal church who after asking if I was a priest, physically recoiled when I copped to being Roman Catholic. I’ve been asked if I’m stupid or crazy, usually by Cradle Catholics and other Jews. Depending on who pops the question, I’ll take it as an opportunity to point out how one cannot become a lapsed Catholic without first becoming Catholic. My more reasoned responses are designed to generate a conversation about similarities rather than differences. We do want conversations, right?

To be clear: the Roman Catholic church breaks my heart and flips my stomach on a regular basis. I’m told my angst is normal.

"Wait, let me guess," said one dear Cradle Catholic friend the nanosecond she heard my voice, "you’re hating the Catholic church, right?"

I whimpered. She laughed.

"Nothing is wrong with feeling crappy about being Catholic," she said. "If you had gone to parochial school, you would’ve learned that by first freaking grade. Being Catholic generates lots of cognitive dissonance. We’re a religion of the heart but because we don’t talk about it that way, people think we’re jerks and assholes." How comforting.

So, why Catholic? Because believing Jesus is Christ narrowed my worship options. [Listen up: I am not at all interested in persuading any other Jew that Jesus is Christ, even though many Christians would say that’s exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.]

As a consequence of time and place, I opted for Roman Catholicism, one of the two unbroken, albeit flawed lines emerging directly from Temple Judaism. I opted for Catholicism because the central action of worship involves "coming to the table." I opted for Catholicism because the structure of liturgy is familiar, as are many of the home-based customs and traditions.

Now that I’m there, I’m deeply committed to all Christians (not just Catholics) understanding their Jewish heritage — and significantly upgrading the food at church suppers.

* Anti-Judaism: hatred of the Jewish religion. Anti-Semitism: hatred of Jews as an ethnic-racial group.