PHAT FLUSH!

New moon yesterday. Auspicious time to start something new. Plant seeds. (Also wreaks havoc on moods – moon/mood not much difference!) But this new moon had slipped my mind because sometimes I don't look at the actual calendar, a sad by-product of my mac calendar widget. So I was thrilled that I had "coincidentally" added a new element to my practice on the new moon. Maybe all this "tuning in" is actually starting to work. What I added into my practice is a new mantra. One with the ability to "remove all negativity"! Now it's not that I'm so negative. (Although notice I used not negative, instead of pretty positive.) This haiku from my book "Did I Wake You?" says it in a nutshell: "You're so negative for a positive person," he said. "No, I'm not!" I feel like my negativity is a kind of psychic "last ten pounds". Yes I can live with it, but I'd rather not. And I worry about being negative because worry is my favorite kind of negativity. Of course worrying about my negativity just creates more negativity. And the kabbalah says that worry is the devil. But what is worry? Worry is an inner monolouge that goes "maybe not, no, I don't think, shouldn't have, what if I don't, not sure, what if this is no good, what if something bad happens, no good can come of this…"

But what can I can I do to stop it? I tried telling myself 'don't be negative!' But it didn't work. It never works when you tell yourself not to do something. Your brain only hears the something. Not the don't. 'Don't eat!' Sounds like, 'Eat!' That's why sometimes when you go on a diet you gain weight. At least that's what I tell myself. You can't even tell yourself not to tell yourself not to do things. You have to do something else so that there is not room in the time/space continuum for the thing you don't want to do. You can't just not be afraid, you have to love more, etc. So when I came across the CD with a mantra to remove all negativity I ordered it immediatly. (Mantra, by the way, comes from man=mind and tra=tool, so mind tool, instrument of thought!) It arrived on Friday. I was on the road all weekend and last night I came home, took it out and did it and I do not have one negative thing to say about it! It is fantastic! Here was the first transformation that happened. All weekend I had been seeing a billboard for some new car, maybe the Element, which asked: DOES THIS MAKE ME LOOK PHAT? I had so much negativity around that billboard. "That's so hacky, that's so old, what a waste of a pun, I hate cars, why do we have to have billborads they are so horrible, but it's also kind of clever. Why do clever people have to be in advertising…" This train of thought didn't take much time. It happened instantaneously. And it didn't linger but there it was, repeatedly. All weekend, despite the fact that I try not to pay attention to billboards because I feel when I 'pay attention" I am actually paying. And retail at that! And then I get home and I put in the CD that is going to help me chant to remove all negativity. And what is the first line? "Om Kem Kam PHAT!" Capitals, and exclamation point, his! The word Phat appears three times in this chant which is altogther sixteen words. One fifth of the words in this chant to remove negativity is a word that I have been feeling negative about all weekend! So of course I am desperate to know the translation of the word. It is not clear from Sri Siva's explanation. He tells the general meaning. Explains that these seed sounds have "nuclear power" (yikes!) to destroy negativity. So I go on line and look it up in an online sanskrit dictionary and find that PHAT! is "a mystical syllable used in incantation"! Which is kind of the same meaning as Phat has here. Wow, cool, beyond words. A mystical syllable used in rap (incantation). Which kind of blew my mind. The connections between cultures, between us as individuals. Seperation is such an illusion, the ultimate negative idea, and I'm so over it!

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Related in Jewcy: Allow us to introduce Beth, this week's Faithhacker guest blogger.