So a Nun and a Chassidic Woman Walk Into a Bar…

I don’t know why, but I’ve always had a perverse interest in nuns. In The Sound of Music my favorite scenes are the ones in the convent, and my favorite song is How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? I once read a mystery series about a former nun turned detective, and whenever nuns are on TV I get really excited. I know that by definition nuns are tres uncool, but I just find them really interesting. Mainly, I think, because I know that I couldn’t pull off the vows of poverty, chastity, enclosure and obedience for more than five minutes (especially not obedience), and it amazes me that anyone really can. Last year I heard an interview with Kenneth Briggs, who wrote a book called Double Crossed: Uncovering the Catholic Church’s Betrayal of American Nuns in which he talked about why the population of nuns in America shrunk from 185,000 in 1965 to less than 70,000 today. One of the things he points out is that when nuns wanted to make reforms that were sanctioned by Vatican II, they were often shouted down by bishops, priests, and even the Vatican. Women who were prevented from exerting their influence, and so, it seems, the idea of joining a convent became less attractive. Yesterday the Chicago Tribune published an article about a 33-year-old woman who’s joined the Poor Clare Colettine nuns in Cleveland. There’s lots of discussion of the hardships and trials of being a nun, and of course Sister Christina explains that it’s all really fulfilling and she’s very content with her life, but the whole time I was reading the article I kept thinking about the frum women I know, and how similar their lives can be to the life of a nun. If you think about it, most ultra-Orthodox women live in poverty, or something very close to poverty, they’re secluded from the secular world, and they’re taught to be obedient. They’re not, of course, chaste. Many of them have more than ten children, but they’re chaste until marriage, and then sex is carefully regulated by the calendar. What’s interesting to me is that while the number of nuns in this country is declining greatly, the number of Orthodox women seems to be growing at a breakneck pace.
Thinking about nuns in comparison to the Ultra-Orthodox women I knew from the neighborhood where I grew up, I have a new respect for both groups. If you’ve ever spent time with either nuns or be-snooded mommies of eleven you know they share an unbreakable earnesty and intensity for all things religious. It can be intimidating, but even when you disagree with them (and I think it’s clear that I disagree with both groups on a number of matters) it’s hard not to appreciate just how incredible their lives are. Sadly, it’s hard to imagine a place for irreverent and inappropriate me in a convent or in Boro Park. I wonder if there’s a middle ground for people like me…