Synagogues Are For Suckers

I have always been a shul-goer. On Shabbat I get completely thrown off if I don’t make it to services. It’s an integral part of my weekly routine, and it frustrates me to have it disrupted. That said, I am not a fan of synagogues, Temples or shuls. For one thing, too often they’re huge and anonymous, the rabbi is far away from me and boring, and the cantor is ridiculously showy. Also, though I have no proof to back this up, I get the impression that the population at most synagogues is aging. I rarely see young singles or couples, especially not at those massive 1000 family congregations. What I do see a lot of is really bad decorating, uncomfortable chairs, and those awful silk kippot. So why are synagogues so tacky and uninviting? And what’s the alternative? I think a lot of synagogues and Temples grew out of themselves, and are still adjusting to such mammoth proportions. People are also using synagogues less and less, generally only stopping in for life cycle events, and whatnot. Many synagogues, especially in suburban well-to-do areas, seem to have become just another venue to keep up with the Jones’. While the insides are fancy, they’re too massive and overly air conditioned to give any a sense of a warm and welcoming community. There are a few alternatives, I think. First of all, I’m a huge fan of the indie minyan, a la Hadar, the DC Minyan, Chicago’s Egal Minyan, and the Library Minyan. Those are non-synagogue services that will give you your spirituality fix without a choir, or 400 people milling around the bat mitzvah girl at Kiddush. But if services aren’t your thing, consider making a weekly volunteer commitment on Monday morning. You can search for volunteer opportunities near you at Volunteermatch.org. Serving at a soup kitchen, helping out at a homeless shelter, or sitting with patients at a hospital are great ways of connecting with your spirituality without having to submit to the awkwardness of a Kiddush luncheon where you don’t know anyone. If you already have volunteering as part of your schedule, Saturday morning might be a good time to work out, take a run, or do some yoga. Or maybe you hate synagogues but are interested in Jewish learning. I highly recommend you get yourself a chevruta (a study partner) and discuss what you’re interested in learning. You may want to poke around on MyJewishLearning where they have lots of good trigger articles and will point you towards all kinds of good books and other helpful resources. Or if you’re more of a Jewish culture person, tune in to Nextbook’s amazing podcast, and start buying (or borrowing from the library) the books they recommend. Sarah Ivry, the voice of the podcast, is awesome and has never directed me to a book I didn’t love. The point is, hating shul doesn’t mean you can’t do something Jewish on Shabbat, and it certainly doesn’t make you a bad Jew. But thankfully synagogues aren’t the only places to go to get a spiritual pick me up