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FFJD Tough Stuff: Dating And Mental Health

It was a nice vacay in the Poconos, sort of like a Mary-Kate and Ashley movie, but one that devolved into Zach and Kelsey getting in a screaming match (because yes, I, Bethenny, and other celebs bring our interns on vacation with us, as a “reward,” and no, my bags aren’t going to carry themselves. Which is usually Bodyguard Steve’s call of duty, but he had thrown out his back because I made him try to rearrange all my furniture, thrice.) They were fighting over something like where they should live after college (Zach wants to be outside of the box and live in Williamsburg) and Kelsey thought that it was dumb. Mostly we sunned and swam and fished and hiked (I used the elliptical at the lodge and ate seared tuna). We generally rejuvinated. Which is great, because FFJD is back with some welcome additions, some new voices, and some new shit to tackle. (African Safari Louis Vuitton ad was rescheduled due to copyright infringement issues and some lioness troubles).

So let’s spackle that tackle, no? Today’s issue at hand is one I’ve been wanting to cover for a long, long while. Something that happens often in relationships, dating, hookups, and that is issues in mental health. Now I’m being pretty vague here, with good reason – I’m talking anything from


to bipolar

to depression

to something in between when you feel like a really sad rock and need some extracurricular help, whether it be via speaking to someone, getting proper medication, or finding other ways to relieve what you’re going through.

As if these issues aren’t hard enough to deal with on your own, when you are lying face down on your bed and feeling like the world is one big heinous minefield and there are no Intermixes, it’s important to understand how to get the help you need, but also how to communicate what you’re going through to your partner, NJB, special friend who sometimes sees your Hanky Pankys, etcetera. It’s tough, trust me. I’ve been on both sides of this fence, and it’s very, very difficult.

How do you manage to keep your personal emotional struggles from bleeding into your relationship? How do you help someone you’re dating through a rough patch? How do you figure out how to get through that yourself without harming someone you love?

And then on the other side of that coin, how do you help someone you’re dating with their struggles? Can you? Should you?

What’s important to understand, however, is that you and only you can solve your emotional issues. Your boyfriend, girlfriend, manfriend, fishfriend, isn’t going to solve them for you. But that’s easier said than done.

You want to let someone else in, but not so far that they too get stuck swimming in your pea soup.

What do you think?

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