A few weeks back, I got a message from a Facebook friend congratulating me on the engagement and the forthcoming wedding. I mention he was a Facebook friend because besides the social network relationship, I don’t really consider him much of a “friend.” All of our real life interactions took place during a nine month period where I found myself attempting, and ultimately failing, to try and become more observant. I freely admit my shortcoming when it comes to Jewish observance, I don’t trumpet them, but the religious life just isn’t one for me. So I gave that up.
It was an awkward exchange for a few days. He wanted to talk to me far more than I wanted to talk to him, and before I knew it, his questions became a little too personal for my liking. Ranging from if we’d consulted with a rabbi about the upcoming wedding, and finally, if I’d read any literature on what I should expect from my Jewish wife.
“No,” was all I said in the followup message. I’d hoped the one word answer would deter him from further interrogations. Then, within an hour, a response.
“You should read these,” he wrote above a bunch of pasted URLs that led to various religious websites discussing things from a woman’s cleanliness in regards to her period, to why Jewish women should keep their hair covered after marriage.
I quickly deleted the message, and took the Facebook friend off my list. I have the deepest respect for the beliefs other people hold so close to their heart, but once they attempt to push those beliefs down my throat, the conversation is over. Especially when it comes to me and mine.
My future wife and I have both discussed the religious aspect of our upcoming union, and while we both have a deep respect for many Jewish traditions, we think it’s fair that the ones which fit inside our comfort zone will be the ones we let into our home.
We do not harbor which i could not forgive others’ mistakes when this come to.