The Pleasure Principle: Freudian Sex Advice with Bambi: Snow Day Diversions

Faced with a city-imposed snow day courtesy of Principal Bloomberg, the freeze on the town slowed things down into a surreal playground. Bambi-fans sent over dope snow-day activities that release the inner child in the dreamworld where there is no 9-to-five job, holed up with no choice but to live out the circumstances around you and play.

In The Interpretation of Dreams, Sigmund scribed the musings the poet Novalis on dreams, easily describing, also, snowdays,

Dreams are a shield agaist the humdrum monotony of life; they set imagination free from its chains so that it may throw into confusion all the pictures of everyday existence and break ito the unceasing gravity of grown men with the joyful play of a child. Without dreams we should surely grow sooner old; so we may look on them–not, perhaps as a gift from on high–but as a precious recreation, as friendly companions on our pilgrimage to the grave. [Heinrich von Ofterdingen (1802)]

First, one reader, Dr. Norton in Washington Heights, took to his NYC backyard, the roof, and released his id into a phallic wonderland. In bulk, these really would complement our watertower-sprinkled cityscape.

Next, some Chicago boys holed up in one of their ma’s Michigan cabins (escape being the only way to score a snow day in Daleyland) engaged in Id-maddening MAN vs. SELF Battle, a perfect blend of the dice drinking game 7-11 or Doubles and the Russian cardgame Durak (in which there are no winners, but there sure is a loser).

Dear Bambi,

Try this on for size: MAN vs. SELF: The Battle

Ok this is what I remember from MAN vs. SELF.

You’ll need two dice, 6 players each with an assigned number from 1-6. 6 shot glasses of beer and several penalty shots of sickly sweet margarita in the center of the table.

So say it’s my roll, I roll a 7 the person to my left drinks. I roll an 11, the person to my right drinks. As soon as they pick up their glass, anyone can roll either die until said drinker puts down the glass. if in that time, I roll a 7 or 11, they have to keep drinking. If I roll double 1-6, the person originally drinking has to have a battle with the person whose number I rolled in double. This consists of having to roll your own number with one of the dice, and being able to drink your shot only when you have rolled your number, the last person to drink two has to take a double penalty shot of margarita.

It should be noted that players must be on top of keeping the glasses refilled at all times.

If I roll and double the number of the person who is drinking, it is a self-battle known as an IDENTITY CRISIS, and is the heart of MAN vs. SELF. When this happens, the person is responsible for drinking four shots of beer and the two penalty margarita shots, if they are really hip to the psychological underpinnings of the game, they might play left hand vs. right hand, each rolling one die trying to get their own number and be allowed to drink their shots.

If I’m rolling and my number is 4 and I roll a double 4, everyone drinks.

If I’m rolling and on my first roll and get a double other number, whoever has that number begins drinking, and I start rolling against them, just like with a 7 or 11.

If more than 6 multiple people can be assigned to a number and when their number is rolled, they both drink, “two against nature” And where there would normally be a self battle, now there is a “double self battle”

Then we had a nose goes rule: if the same benign number is rolled twice it is a nose goes, the last person to touch their nose has to drink and can be rolled again by anyone whilst doing so. This is a dangerous rule because the person who is the drunkest usually is the slowest to respond to nose goes, and thus gets even drunker than the rest of the pack.

Thanks to EZ, Julio ‘Tito’ Guillermo, Beef Whitington Wigdon, Jukman, Bless, and Dev for that one.

And finally, for those who can still stand up after a round of that, a few tips if you are down to get plowed in that shitstorm:

• Use the moldable terrain to your advantage. Get creative with angled platforms made of packed poof.
• Bonus! Rubbers are insulation from more elements than before.