About JakeRake

A creature of the Washington, D.C., suburban sprawl, Jake Rake is a graduate of the University of Maryland. His interests include baseball, rock 'n roll, and not feeling feelings. Jake is a contributor to The Onion, Gelf, SNY's The Nooner and The Business Corporation, posts daily on JakeRake.com and hangs out like crazy.  He works on a couch in Jewcy's Dumbo office and recently achieved his lifelong goal of posting a link to a novelty hardcore porn site on the website of an online Jewish magazine.

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Castro Still Kickin’, Letting It All Hang Out In Crazy Australia and Eating Your Way Out Of Prison In Quebec

By November 14, 2008

A roundup of matters of mild importance…  1,000 people turned out for the funeral of Seattle’s famed "Tuba Man." Google is preparing to release voice-recognition software for its iPhone application. Michael Jackson has abdicated his molestation palace. A resort in … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: You Could Call It “Agaska,” R.I.P. Mitch Mitch and Watch Out For The Feisty German Poor

By November 13, 2008

News you can use to avoid actually having to open a newspaper. The Obama Administration plans to overhaul the Department of Justice. The BBC profiled Jerusalem’s new mayor, Nir Barkat. Doctors in Germany appear to have cured HIV in one … Read More

Mormons, Jews Uninterested In Not Wasting Time

By November 12, 2008

Organized religion may have hit an all-time low this week, as two of the world’s most hated faiths, Judaism and Mormonism, squared off in a metaphysical shakedown for the ages. From CNN.com: Holocaust survivors said Monday they are through trying … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Moose Hot Dogs, Ceasefire in Darfur and Financial Troubles Finish the Job The Alero Started

By November 12, 2008

All the news that’s fit to reprint without permission. As if enough people didn’t already see Barack Obama as a savior figure, his administration has said that it will make closing the Guantanamo Bay prison a priority. After decades of … Read More

Before ‘Post-Racism,’ There Was Buckwheat

By November 11, 2008

With the release of The Little Rascals: The Complete Collection DVD box set making front-page news in The New York Times, I figured it was probably worth checking out some of the shorts that Homer Simpson deemed worthy of waking … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Russia Looking To Rush Next Semester, A Star Turn For the Obama Girls and Mormons Being Mormons

By November 11, 2008

All the news that’s fit to reprint. President-Elect Obama has asked the old guard to help out America’s failing car companies. Jews and Mormons are at each others throats over the latters’ practice of posthumously baptizing the formers’ dead relatives. … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: MGM & YouTube Make Nice, An Extra-Value Meal For Every Chinese and the Return of the Maverick

By November 10, 2008

A look at the happenings and lack thereof from all corners of the Universe. China unveiled a $586 billion stimulus plan, or about $5.86 per person over there. It what is likely to me the first of many disturbing secrets … Read More

It’s Great To Be Back…

By November 7, 2008

The euphoria of Brother Obama’s election sure was fun, but welcome back to reality, America. Luckily, an increasing number of Americans have plenty of time on their hands to focus on the issues the country is facing, as they no … Read More