About JakeRake

A creature of the Washington, D.C., suburban sprawl, Jake Rake is a graduate of the University of Maryland. His interests include baseball, rock 'n roll, and not feeling feelings. Jake is a contributor to The Onion, Gelf, SNY's The Nooner and The Business Corporation, posts daily on JakeRake.com and hangs out like crazy.  He works on a couch in Jewcy's Dumbo office and recently achieved his lifelong goal of posting a link to a novelty hardcore porn site on the website of an online Jewish magazine.

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Daily Pirate Report, Nazi Apologism and See Ya, Juice

By December 5, 2008

I’m not stealing news from other sites, I’m sampling it. I’m kind of the Dr. Dre of news aggregation… Columbian policia have apprehended a 28-year-old man who ran a pyramid scheme so extensive that its collapse effected the nation’s economy. … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Moscow Solves AIDS, Real-Life Fembots and Zimbabwe Sounds Lovely

By December 4, 2008

Go fuck yourselves, San Diego… AT&T and DuPont don’t want to get left in the dust as far as this newfangled layoffs trend goes. Israeli troops exchanged gunfire with Jewish extremists in the West Bank. A bailout plan has been … Read More

50 Cent, Axl Rose Take On Taco Bell, Dr. Pepper In Battle Royale

By December 3, 2008

In a series of epic battles on par with Ali vs. Foreman, Itchy vs. Scratchy and Christians vs. people who believe other things, enter attention-starved musicians vs popular foodstuffs into the lexicon of blockbuster rivalries. First, 50 Cent took on … Read More

ADL Tricking Anti-Semites, You Via Racist E-Mails

By December 3, 2008

As Gawker reported yesterday, the Anti-Defamation League has been engaged in a bizarre online campaign to supposedly curb antisemitism by launching e-mail blasts with the subject line, "Jews Have Ruined Our Country." The e-mails go on to list quotes pulled … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: A Boozing Milestone, NATO Playing It Exclusive and Why Google Maps Should Be Outlawed

By December 3, 2008

Eat your heart out, Matt Drudge…  Cheers! Friday will mark the 75th anniversary of the ratification of the 21st amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which repealed the 18th amendment, the prohibition of alcohol. Now put that joint away or you’re … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Mostly Bad News, Some Prehistoric Relics

By December 2, 2008

Rough day pretty much all around today… The renowned terrorist hunters of Pakistan will be assisting India in the investigation of the Mumbai attacks. A congressional task force has somehow determined that a nuclear attack is expected to occur sometime … Read More

War on Drugs Actually A War On Logic

By December 1, 2008

According to a story in the LA Times, former Mexican President Ernesto Zedillo has called out the United States’ ‘War on Drugs’ as more or less a complete and utter failure. While the War on Drugs has already been dismissed … Read More

Mumbai Attacks Recap

By December 1, 2008

While Americans were doing their Thanksgiving thing and the citizens of the rest of the world did whatever it is that they do on any given day, India was rocked by what may end up being their 9/11. At least … Read More