About JakeRake

A creature of the Washington, D.C., suburban sprawl, Jake Rake is a graduate of the University of Maryland. His interests include baseball, rock 'n roll, and not feeling feelings. Jake is a contributor to The Onion, Gelf, SNY's The Nooner and The Business Corporation, posts daily on JakeRake.com and hangs out like crazy.  He works on a couch in Jewcy's Dumbo office and recently achieved his lifelong goal of posting a link to a novelty hardcore porn site on the website of an online Jewish magazine.

McCain Hates Gooks; Does Anybody Care?

By October 21, 2008

In these times of subliminal advertising, discreet media bias and general indirectness, it’s nice to see someone just come out and blatantly drop hateful racial slurs. Oh, wait…no it’s not; it’s a horrible thing to do. So why has John … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Barack and his Bubbe, Farcical Government Crackdowns and Protecting the Pachyderms

By October 21, 2008

Lazy Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama is jumping ship on his campaign and jetting off to Hawaii. Sister Silverman was booed in London after a short standup set. Anti-Semites. Thaksin Shinawatra, the former prime minister of Thailand was sentenced to … Read More

As Youkilis Goes, So Go Jewish Ballplayers in ’08

By October 20, 2008

Unless it turns out that Dioner Navarro is secretly a Marrano, the 2008 World Series is set to become the first Fall Classic since 2003 in which there is nary a single tribesman on either championship roster. First, the failure … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Rogue Colins, Hot Celebs and Chinese Labor Laws!

By October 20, 2008

• After speaking up and jumping from the sinking ship that is the Republican Party, Colin Powell will be rewarded with a job in the upcoming Obama Administration. • Saturday Night Live rode an appearance by Sarah Palin to its … Read More

Tough Guys Dance At Bar Mitzvahs

By October 16, 2008

The tribe lost some of its street cred this week, as pioneering sports handicapper and mobbed-out casino manager Frank "Lefty" Rosenthal died Monday of a heart attack at his home in Miami Beach. Rosenthal’s life and career were the basis … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Christians Love Israel, Armenians Not So Much

By October 16, 2008

  • In a banner moment for cultural relations, 3,000 Christians gathered for a march in Jerusalem as a show of support for Christian Zionism. • There is tension amongst victims of 20th century genocide, as an Armenian activist group … Read More

Will Jesse Jackson Please Shut Up About Obama and Israel?

By October 15, 2008

Jesse Jackson, who three and a half months ago expressed his desire to amputate Obama’s testicles, apparently believes that "Zionists who have controlled American policy for decades" remain influential, but will lose much of their prominence if and when Obama … Read More

Shocker: Jews Shouldering Blame for Economic Crisis

By October 14, 2008

Given the classic anti-Semitic mantra that the Jews control the world’s money, it is only natural that the current class of anti-Semites are upset that those same Jews are currently doing a lousy job of controlling the world’s money. (What … Read More