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Crazy Sh*t My Mom Tried To Feed Me The Week Before Passover

If your mother descends upon chometz in your house like a one-woman swarm of locusts (8th plague reference!), then you know it’s wise to decline her dinner invitation the week before Passover.  I mean, you can’t blame the woman.  She wants to rid her pantry of all breadthings forbidden on Passover, but without wasting food.  So she thinks it’s okay to serve you pasta tossed with breadcrumbs with a freezer-burnt hot dog bun and a side of green jello.  Her heart’s in the right place, but your digestive track won’t be if you comply. You can try and reason with her.  For example, you can suggest using Allrecipes.com’s new handy tool that allows you to menu plan based on what you have in your pantry.  If that doesn’t work, perhaps a cautionary tale will:

T’was the week before Passover, and Haley was excited that her mom packed her up a whole duffle’s worth of homemade frozen food for her to bring back to college with her.  Likewise, her mom was excited to free up some of her freezer space for Passover.

When Haley got back to Boston already missing home, she decided to heat up her mom’s chicken soup. She put it in a pot to defrost over a low flame. Slowly, her apartment began to smell like fish. Fishy fish.  She and her roommates sniffed around, and found it was coming from the pot. Haley tasted the clear liquid. She gagged. It was not chicken soup – not even close.

Her mom gave her last Passover’s extra gefilte fish jelly.  Gefilte fish jelly!  Frozen, it looked like chicken soup.  Her apartment never smelled the same again.

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