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How To Revive The McCain Campaign

Make Fred Thompson your running-mate. They're practically twins already, as John Dickerson points out, and yet Thompson's got that saddle-bag cheek gravitas the red states like in their conservatives. He oozes Southern charisma, according to those who thought Bob Hope was a scream. And you can be sure he hasn't got a two war minimum in terms of executive hubris. Like a genial stepfather who wasn't particularly interested in raising another brood at this late stage in the game, but who loves his wife too much to grumble much about the hard-partying teens that come with her, Fred's philosophy is simple: "You kids have fun now, but try not to make too big a mess of things. I just swept in here, for chrissake." There's your Plan B Man for Iraq.

You want Burkean restraint and prudence? Here's Fred as the admiral in The Hunt for Red October: "This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it." Missing Russian sub, uranium enrichment in Natanz. He's got that voice of venerable wisdom you're gonna want in a vice president.

What's more, he looks like Gerald Ford, who couldn't go wrong with a fawning Washington press club upon the occasion of his still memory-fresh demise. So Fred gives good face recognition. 

If he's not quite ready for the show, he's the perfect second-in-line. Now watch how quickly McCain snaps him up. Watch.

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