It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like L’Shana Chanukah

A few years ago, before Mischa Barton was killed off The OC and I could stand to watch Adam Brody smoke a joint and doodle comic book heroes without wanting to gorge my middle finger down my throat, I caught a holiday episode called Chrismukkah in which the Cohen family and their gentile friends came together around a Chanukah bush. So fond was I of this particular show and the cute little all-inclusive, politically correct catch phrase it spawned that I vowed to watch the show for another few months.

Nowadays, Chrismukkah and the commercialization of Chanukah is everywhere. Personally, I think the attempt of the Market/economy to capitalize on the holiday under the guise of "non-denonominational" undermines its intrinsic value. For the reasons above, I'd like to share the following story with you, in which a blogger relays his frustrations over religious pluralism.

I’ll share a Chrismukkah encounter that took place in New Jersey. My two younger sisters are ballerinas. Since their toddler years, they’ve performed in The Nutcracker, a performance that involves doing pirouettes in glittery tutus around a Christmas tree that magically grows upward from the stage floor. This year’s Nutcracker performance was “special,” perhaps even “progressive” in the minds of many-a-shallow person. It included an additional scene about the Maccabees and their “Eight Crazy Nights.” As a grand finale, the entire Nutcracker cast appeared on stage to joyfully exclaim: L’Shana Chanukah! — “To a year of Chanukah!” During rehearsals, my sister informed the non-Jewish directors that L’Shana Chanukah! made no sense at all, and that if they’re going to wish the audience Happy Chanukah, they should at least use the correct greeting — Chanukah Sameach. But the directors explained that they liked L’Shana Chanukah! because it sounded catchy and romantic. They really didn’t care about its bizarre meaning (especially since the handful of Jews in a predominantly WASPy audience were probably too assimilated to know that the ever-so-inclusive Chanukah greeting had been butchered).

So what does this all mean?

Call me jaded, but if all that most non-Jews know about Judaism is L’Shana Chanukah!, we’re in bad shape. And perhaps the saddest part of all is the excessive American Jewish pride in knowing that chocolate gelt, plastic dreidels, and paper cut-out Chanukiahs have joined the ranks of green and red cupcakes, Jingle Bells, and Santa’s rosy face pressed against the windows of grocery stores, pharmacies, and nursery school classroom doors.