You have to give the
federation controlled "independent" NY Jewish Week credit. Most Jewish periodicals bitch and whine like Amy Klein about Jewish "stereotypes." But the Jewish Week, which broadly services the entire NY Jewish community all the way from the Conservadox on the Left to the Left-Wing Modern Orthodox on the Right, is comfortable operating within such…expectations. Offering advice on how to date cheaply, Alan Zeitlin writes of one poor soul,
On the third date, if he really liked a woman, he used to take her take to dinner and a Broadway show, but now he can only afford dinner.
The hardship of our community has hit a new level of suffering. I had heard rumors of settling for off-Broadway shows on third dates, but the continued economic crisis is much worse than even I realized.
“When the bill comes, you’ve got to have a poker face,” he said. “I’ve seen guys recently who suddenly forget they’re on a date and itemize things on the bill and look disturbed. They look like they’re in physical pain and here they went to all this trouble and they end up not looking very attractive.
Speaking from experience, it may not be the bill. I can tell you that this is most common if you find out at the last minute that your date is a vegetarian, or keeps a modifed kosher existence and only eats "dairy out." Gentlemen, when dating a Jewish Week type of woman, always, always have lactaid pills on hand. It’s far more likely you will need that pill than you will a condom. Be realistic.
One 32-year-old teacher on the Upper West Side thinks so. He said a nice restaurant is part of the courting process and he doubted someone couldn’t afford it on one occasion. If that’s the case, there’s a possible solution.
“They can borrow it from their mother and father,” he said. “What Jewish parent doesn’t want their son to get married?”
Parents do need to take more responsibility for their thirty-somethings dating lives. 32 is the new 15.
The Jewish Week does take on one unfortunate and unfair stereotype: the much maligned JAP.
Doel Perez, a 25-year-old doorman on the Upper West Side, said he sees plenty of daters and thinks that Jewish women get a bad rap. It’s not just Jewish women, but all women who are looking for a guy with money, he said
In other words, it isn’t that Jewish women aren’t all JAPS. It’s that all women are JAPS. To simply pick on Jewish women is unfairly selective. All women are cut from the same gold-bricking and overly materialistic mold, so give our girls a break.
But remember, in our troubled post-Madoff times, menschkeit and honesty are the key. We have learned our lesson. We have grown, both individually, and as a community. And so the Jewish Week suggests you can go to a show, but,
“Here’s what you do,” he said. “You buy the cheapest tickets possible, but you hold the tickets and don’t show the date. You go down to good seats that are open and sit down. Most of the time, you’re fine. If you get busted, just calmly say ‘Oh, my mistake and take your date to two different open seats nearby.”
Join us next for the Jewish Week’s forthcoming advice column on how to receive a free airline upgrade on your next flight through incessant complaining about the poor service you received. (Hint: Always demand "to speak to a manager.")