The Moronic Inferno

Here's the problem with les enfants terribles: They grow up.

In the eighties, Martin Amis was the caustic golden child of the literary left, a chain-smoking, cliche-loathing prodigy who took time out of satirizing the brute materialism of the Reagan-Thatcher decade to condemn what he called the "mega-death intellectuals." You remember these guys, don't you? They were the ones who occupied the Rand Institute, quietly calculating the estimated corpses of a very likely nuclear "exchange" with the Soviet Union. They weighed their options of a "first-strike" against Russia. They rationalized "escalationism" as the only means of ensuring peace. Perhaps most important of all to language worshiper like Amis, they used these terms outside of inverted commas; they spoke of nuclear war unironically because they thought it was a war that could be won by something other than nuclear weapons.

Yes, the left once loved Martin Amis. But no more. Today he rightly calls Islamism a "murderous ideology" (all mega-death, in other words, no intellectuals). Amis deplores Bin Laden almost as much as he does those correct-thinking Londoners who make excuses for him, or elect to do his PR work. This is a surprisingly large segment of the population, mainly because it's an unsurprisingly large segment of the Guardian editorial board.

I've already posted about Nick Cohen's write-up of the London School of Economics rethink on Putin's Russia and how it has spawned a new generation of British fellow travelers. Well, now here's a thorough recounting of Amis holding forth at the Institute of Contemporary Arts against the same mouth-breathing contingent which applies itself toward the Muslim Brotherhood, Al Qaeda, and Saddam Hussein:

First question: "In view of the fear over Islamism, is it time to bring communism back?"

"Er, no", came the polite answer. "You loon", the impolite, unexpressed addendum.

It was at this point that TV's greatest satirist, the shaggy-haired Swift of our age, took his turn to speak.

And what a wonderful turn it was.

"How many members of the Muslim Brotherhood have you actually spoken to in your research?" he pronounced, in the tone of the man who's sure he's got a dead cert, TKO, killer question.

"Er, quite a few, actually," replied Anthony.

Needless to say, Morris was somewhat deflated, as the haymaker he was sure would condemn his opponents to the canvas somehow fell short. But like any true champion, he kept plugging away.

"And you're saying they're all murderers," he jabbed.

"I think Islamists subscribe to a murderous ideology," parried Amis.

"So you mean they're all murderers?"

"No, but I believe the ideology they subscribe to is murderous."

This continued for what seemed like years, until Anthony deftly tagged Amis, and immediately set about the exposed belly of Morris's argument.

"For example, [insert name of prominent member of MCB, well known to Cif readers] supported Osama bin Laden right up to Sept 11 2001, a period including the Kenyan embassy bombings among others."

Morris, on the ropes, threw out the last lunge any southpaw can in these situations: "Well we supported Saddam Hussein."