When I decided to embrace my Jewish roots, however short and stubby, I had no hesitation. My mother always said, "Just wait to see who you marry first!" as though my love life – or lack thereof – should have some bearing on my cultural and spiritual identity, but I understood it was a personal decision. And I made it on my own.
Maybe it was naïveté, but I never saw flares of anti-Semitism or prejudice when I spent time with my Jewish friends as a child. Even as an adult, I should probably count myself lucky to have never witnessed a malicious attack on Jewish beliefs or practices.
But there is one thing I have noticed: the more openly I’ve embraced Judaism, the more my friends think it’s okay to tease me about it. Yell Jewish-sounding words when I’m in the room – that’s hilarious. There’s nothing like a well-placed "Challah" to win a crowd over. I wrote before about mean-spirited ignorance, but I’ve also faced the obstacle of an over-abundance of seemingly charming and repetitively irritating Jew jokes.
I don’t mind when people say, "Ashley, you’re Jewish-what’s the deal with keeping kosher," even though I haven’t adopted all the laws of kashrut. I have no problem sharing my knowledge, as I continue to learn, with people less versed in Jewish culture or practice. It’s another thing entirely, however, when a person plays up his or her ignorance as a means to a laugh or some other sort of attention.
When I affixed my mezuzah to the door of my dorm room, I shuddered slightly at the thought of my non-Jewish friends (and hell, even some of my Jewish friends) giving me a hard time. It went up on Friday and it took only four days for a friend to walk up, touch it, and say in a silly voice, "ooh look, I’m Jewish now." Even though ninety seconds prior, I’d been scolded for alluding to an ongoing joke – "Come on, it’s old, it’s been a year and a half," he said. How do you think it feels when there’s no set time limit? How long until the Jew jokes are officially dubbed "old?"
Listening to people mock Hebrew’s guttural sounds, hearing them interject random words like"matzo" and "latke" into conversation because they think it’s funny, watching them assume I’ll only find a guy attractive if he’s sporting a kippah, and hearing them make jokes sprung from sheer ignorance has worn thin.
I am proud to be a Jew, and I’m prouder to be a Jew by choice. I sincerely hope I never become a person who tucks her Star of David away to avoid being thought of differently. I have no problem asserting myself as a young Jewish woman, affixing my mezuzah to my door, stacking ever higher my collection of books about Judaism for all to see, or engaging in long conversations about Jewish beliefs, culture, or upcoming holidays. I am not ashamed to be Jewish.
But seriously – Oy with the Jew jokes already! I won’t cast a net of judgment upon your choices if I’m allowed to get through a day without beingthe token Jew to cast jokes upon "all in good fun." Because eventually, the "good fun" fades and all that remains is bitterness and ignorance.
Perfect. That is literally the thing I was seeking.