“Perfecting Jews” the Ann Coulter Way

Well, let's get one thing out of the way at the start:

COULTER: Do you know what Christianity is? We believe your religion [Judaism], but you have to obey.

DEUTSCH: No, no, no, but I mean —

COULTER: We have the fast-track program.

DEUTSCH: Why don't I put you with the head of Iran? I mean, come on. You can't believe that.

COULTER: The head of Iran is not a Christian.

DEUTSCH: No, but in fact, "Let's wipe Israel" —

COULTER: I don't know if you've been paying attention.

DEUTSCH: "Let's wipe Israel off the earth." I mean, what, no Jews?

COULTER: No, we think — we just want Jews to be perfected, as they say.

DEUTSCH: Wow, you didn't really say that, did you?

COULTER: Yes. That is what Christianity is. We believe the Old Testament, but ours is more like Federal Express. You have to obey laws. We know we're all sinners —

DEUTSCH: In my old days, I would have argued — when you say something absurd like that, there's no —

COULTER: What's absurd?

DEUTSCH: Jews are going to be perfected. I'm going to go off and try to perfect myself —

COULTER: Well, that's what the New Testament says.

"A drag queen impersonating a fascist" was Andrew Sullivan's line to describe Ann Coulter, whose last book Godless: The Church of Liberalism was released on the New Testament-friendly date 6/6/06.

In a way, there's a macabre allure to Coulter, who at least cuts through the cant and bullshit of most television commentary and gets right down to business. 9/11 widows? Marinating in their own grief. Elizabeth Edwards? A hulking shrew of a wannabe First Lady married to a "faggot."

She is rather like a Cabaret act gone awry: What's she going to say this time? is how viewers right and left approach the spindly Nordic mean girl, like so many embarrassed i-bankers getting lap dances at Lucky Cheng's.

Coulter famously advocated converting Muslims to Christianity after the attacks on the Pentagon and World Trade Center. This occurred in the pages of The National Review and promptly led to her sacking by Jonah "the Lionhearted" Goldberg. (Coulter might also be careful, lest her column be yanked from Jewish World Review, one of the only high-trafficked internet portals, along with Human Events, to continue to publish it.) And if you bother to read Godless, which I did, you'll find that she actually sympathizes with the Taliban when it comes to their method for dealing with queers: dropping walls on them.

Coulter is the anti-matter of sensationalism and she knows it. She could elope with John Walker Lindh in Vegas and bomb an abortion clinic on the way home and the public outrage would only ever register as the idiom of the brain-dead sitcom: "That's our Ann!"