Stupidity Like This Cannot Be Faked

Spoken of the New York City mayor who let herpes-infected rabbis suck infant penises out of concern for "religious freedom":

At this juncture America needs a Jewish president. Not for some silly P.C. diversity reason but because America and much of the world are crying out for a change in U.S. Middle East policies, which entails putting pressure on Israel. A Jewish president is in the best position to do that.

Richard Nixon, who made his political name as the implacable, uncompromising foe of Communism here and abroad, opened relations between the United States and Communist China. He was the one person who could do it politically. In like measure only a Jewish president who also has the best interests of Israel at heart will be able to make the changes that must be made if we are to wiggle our way out of the hellish dilemmas which are gradually killing us.

I once wrote a parody for my college humor mag titled, "Bush Appoints 'Self-Hating Jews' Woody Allen, Philip Roth Mideast Ambassadors" — the logic being that only kvetches who talk of castrating Zionist mothers could foster a binational peace solution. Well, at least they were unmistakably Jewish. Bloomberg has always struck me as a ferrety patrician manque, some unfortunate hybrid of  "How'm I doin'?" meets "People Like Us," but more Asshole than Astor. He's about as authentic as a pizza bagel.

And as a presidential prospect, entirely laughable. Couldn't the New York Observer, if it wanted to be edgy in that vote-ethnic-but-out-of-principle-not-PC way, have said that it's time for a black commander-in-chief who might, say, add a geneaological imperative to ending the genocide in Darfur?  As it happens, I know of a good man for the job, and he actually embodies leadership, integrity and political savvy. His name is Al Sharpton.

Kidding!