UNESCO Invokes Jewish Tiebreaker

The match-up between Bulgarian diplomat Irina Bokova and Egyptian culture minister Farouk Hosny had gone four excruciating rounds. The prize was the title of general director for UNESCO, the U.N. cultural and education agency charged with building "peace in the minds of men." The two candidates had tied in the previous round with 29 votes each, ensuring a fifth and final showdown vote.

But then, the Jewish winds of manipulation wound their shifty clouted ways. In the final round, two countries changed votes in support of Ms. Bokova, who won by a tally of 31-27. Much to the relief of the UNESCO executive board, the Egyptian ambassador approached Ms.Bokova following the vote, hugged her, and then said "We are all in this together." Hosny, however, was not so sure about that. "It was clear by the end of the competition that there was a conspiracy against me," Hosny said upon his arrival back in Egypt. "There are a group of the world’s Jews who had a major influence in the elections who were a serious threat to Egypt taking this position." During the campaign, Hosny’s candidacy had been tarnished by a statement he made in the Egyptian Parliament in which he promised to burn any Israeli book found in the landmark Alexandria library as well as charges of censorship and anti-Semitism throughout his tenure as culture minister. Also, according to the Arabic language site Elaph.com, Hosny may or may not have boasted about aiding hijackers in their escape after they took an Italian cruise ship hostage in 1985, shot a wheelchair-bound Jewish American tourist, and threw him into the sea. So whither now Farouk Hosny? Now that the dust has settled on the divisive vote, Hosny has proven that the misgivings regarding his candidacy were warranted. Without trying to completely single out one group, it’s a little bit like the protests of the Muhammed cartoon. Masses were irate, in part, because the cartoon suggested that Islam preached violence and protestors manifested their anger at the characterization by burning things down and threatening to kill the author of the cartoon. I kinda feel sorry for Hosny. And not in a Yom Kippur kind of way. I know his irrational anger. Every time that I strike out with a non-Jewish girl, I know it’s because she’s anti-Semitic. We all have these tendencies. Maybe the UNESCO mission to build peace in the minds of men would work best if its director was honestly afflicted with a precondition of paranoia toward a particular culture. He’d be a poster child for the world’s continued grappling with multiculturalism. There would be no lip service. If nothing else, it would certainly suit the U.N. aptly.