I've been waiting patiently for someone to say that never has socialism had such an attractive human face. That would surely not be the worst sweetly condescending remark Segolene Royal has had to put up with over the years, especially during her recent ascent in the French Socialist Party, which culminated yesterday in her nomination for president.
There's every indication Royal is going to give Nicolas Sarkozy a run for his argent, and if she wins, she'll be the first female president the country has ever had. This is actually quite amazing when you think about it: the dual Gaullic stereotypes of effeminacy and radicalism were not enough to keep Margaret Thatcher and Andrea Merkel from becoming the first embodiments of European ovaries of steel. Why has it taken France so long to see the legitimacy of female rule?
Ali G once asked Newt Gingrich about the danger of someone like Hillary Clinton becoming chief executive of the United States. "But in'it a problem if a woo-man become preziden 'cause ven what if she fall in love wif Saddam Hussein?" This is closer to the prevailing wisdom about female authority than one cares to admit. Just consider that French MP and fellow Socialist Laurent Fabius asked what would happen to Ms. Royal's four children if she were elected. Who'd stay home with the les enfants? Never mind that their father is also a hard-working lefty MP Francois Hollande and that Royal, as former Vice-Minister for Family and Childhood, was a sponsor of paternity leave legislation. Sarkozy, too, takes her as seriously as Fashion Week:
"If I ever became a candidate for the presidency one day, I would be very happy to debate with her. From my point of view she's every bit as attractive a Socialist candidate as Henri Emmanuelli."
One look at Monsieur Emmanuelli and the misogyny of this crack vaporizes in laughter. Right?
I have no problem — nay, I have a civic, Francophilic responsibility — to point out the hotness of Segolene, who was famously featured, at 53, on the beach in a blue bikini with the bod plenty of 23-year-olds wish they had. No sexism here! Gavin Newsom: His phone number to the girl (or guy) who can describe San Francisco's education policy. Even Rumsfeld, judging by his early press clippings, might have been allowed to fuck up Iraq if only he'd done it in a muscle-tee.
But beauty does not diminish from an ability to govern any more than Royal's decision to wear high heels on a trip to Chile (scandal!) makes her un-statesman-like. Jacques Chirac probably had jarfuls of Brill Cream smothered into those six strands of hair when he inked the deal for Osirak, and both he and his sale were still butt-ugly.
Royal herself sounds very much like the kind of right-of-left Third Way candidate the Continent has been craving. She's a fan of Tony Blair. She's tough on French hooliganism and the insidious creep of Islamism into Parisian affairs. She also thinks fellow party member and ex-prez Lionel Jospin's 35-hour work week is no way to keep France competitive in today's globalized economy. (Marxists never were averse to labor, despite what your wan, bong-hitting roommate in college told you.)
When Hillary's elected, and I move to France — Royal's got my vote.
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