Tools for Intermarriage (no, not a brainwashing kit)

As a rule, I try not to let Faithhacker slide into becoming an interfaith advocacy site… NOT because I’m not involved with interfaith Jewry (which obviously I am) but because I think it’s really important that this blog cover a wider range of topics than my own obsessive focus…

But today, with Kerry (the king of all things interfaith-full, in my humble opinion) leading the charge above the Jewcy fold, it seems appropriate to bring up intermarriage in a general kind of way.

It seems worth mention that there are many different kinds of conversations people are having about intermarriage. And for those of you NOT embroiled in this particular Jewish dialogue, it might come as a surprise that our interfaith debates are as heated as any other Jewish conversations.

You might be interested to know that we, the interfaith Jewish world, often don’t agree with one another at all. There are a number of issues on which we part ways. For instance, a lot of folks don’t like the semantics I (personally) choose to embrace (half-Jew among them). And I don’t personally like the idea of trying to “find and catch” the intermarried and turn them Jewish, as some folks do. I also HATE the idea of “encouraging conversion”, but I’m equally put off by the idea of blending our rituals with the rituals of other faiths.

And we could argue and wrestle with these topics all day…

But instead, I thought it would be more useful (especially if you’re following Kerry’s dialogue) to point you in the direction of a just a few of the many books and resources on intermarriage, from a variety of Jewish corners… so that you (who must have your own thoughts on the matter) can find something that meets your needs. (be warned—I don’t actually LIKE these books for myself, and haven’t read them all. But we aren’t the same person, you and I!)

Some places to start:

Self-helpish Reading The Complete Idiot’s Guide The Interfaith Family Guidebook Raising Your Jewish/Christian Child The Intermarriage Handbook Mingled Roots: A guide for Jewish Grandparents Introducing My Faith and My Community

First Person Accounts/Anecdotal Interfaith Families: Personal Stories Inside Intermarriage Half/Life (full disclosure—this one is mine) The Half-Jewish Book Black, White and Jewish

Though of course, the BEST book about an intermarried family is Franny and Zooey. Not sure if it will help you find your intermarried way, but if you haven’t read it, you MUST!