Perhaps this post shouldn't be tagged "Judaism" so much as it should be tagged "faith at large", but I'm thinking about believing. About what people really believe in. And what they don't.
As a Jew, I think I believe that a bunch of Semitic tribes wandered in the dessert, and did some crazy shit. Along the way they lost interest in worshipping idols, developed a legal code, and drew strength from that code. Men wrote down the story, but the spark (call it genius, or insanity, or divinity) of God/belief inspired the telling.
I believe that as a tiny nation we've lasted too damn long not to be getting divine help from somewhere. We are not just animals. I believe that.
But today I'm interested in what I DON'T believe. Because if you think about it, that's where our story (or at least the one I learned as a kid) begins. Not in Abraham's deep conviction, but in his decision to smash/dispel all other/lesser beliefs.
See, I believe in all kinds of stuff. Because my faith is most importantly about NOT ruling out possibilities. I don't BELIEVE that God handed Moses a giant book on top of a mountain, but I don't have proof that he didn't. I do not find it impossible to imagine. That's what I call "faith". I have faith in all kinds of things—medicine, my friends, and God.
But I also can't prove that there are no unicorns or ghosts. I can't prove that vampires don't live among us. In a sense, I believe all of that stuff. Because for me, suspending disbelief means totally suspending it. Torah=medicine=vampires=Zeus.
The one thing I do NOT believe in, besides atheism? Jesus.
Now, why would a girl who can believe in unicorns have such trouble with Jesus? Because Jesus is directly contradictory to the essence of my Jewish belief, whatever it is. I cannot believe in our Jewish God/spark/code, and also believe in the incarnate son of God. It doesn't work for me. And that is, I think, what makes me a Jew.
Now, I realize that this way of coming to understand faith is not for everyone. Not everyone has the trouble I have with inconsistencies. Not everyone believes in unicorns. But I want to know if you've ever considered this way of thinking. I want to know if I'm out here all alone, a crazy mixed-up girl.
Have you ever thought of faith as defined by what you DON'T believe? Can you?
What don't YOU believe?
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