What I Really Think About You

As Tamar mentioned on Friday, I spent the weekend at the AWP (Associated Writing Programs) conference, and it was a wonderful event—tiring and frustrating, and fun (as most conferences are).

But how does that relate to Faithhacker?

I swear… it does!

Because on Friday afternoon, I was on a panel convened by a fabulous (Jewish) poet named Jason Schneiderman) called “Writing Faith for the Faithless (and the Faithful)”. And as I listened and talked, and talked and listened… I thought about something I wanted to toss out here.

See, Jason introduced the idea that religion is especially complicated to write about because we are all afraid of “stepping on toes”. And then he introduced the idea of “answerability” for our writing. And I nodded from my seat (of course—because nodding is what panelists do while listening to one another)… but then I thought…

And I realized that I absolutely think the fear of toe-stomping is getting in the way of real religion-writing. I think that what we are really answerable for is not the harm or upset we might cause, but our lack of honesty… I think we should be saying what we mean, no matter what. I think we owe it to each other. Especially when we are NOT in agreement.

How else can we dialogue? If I don’t know why/how you think I’m wrong, how can we begin a conversation that will be interesting or useful to anyone? Or important?

“Oh, yes… that’s very nice. Your kiddie-porn and Taco-Bell-worshipping cult sounds both native and contemporary. I’d love to come to a naked sweat lodge service sometime and check it out! I mean, it’s not really my thing, but I’m fascinated by your sociological place in the world, and I absolutely am NOT judging you”.

Bullshit! I am judging you. Of course I am. I may not hate you or want to hurt you, but that doesn’t mean I’m not criticizing you privately, telling my friends about you… and I think privacy is overrated… that we should be having our private conversations in public.

I think that most religion writing today is SO AFRAID to step on toes, so afraid of “answering” for hurt feelings and possible harm… that religion writers aren’t being honest anymore. And it bores me.

Of course, all of this needs to be contextualized by an understanding that I was in a pluralistic academic setting. Certainly there are crazy freaks all over the web, representing all faiths (people who need no urging to be “honest”). And those people are “religion writers” willing to step on toes, burn clinics, condemn me to hell. But that’s not what I’m talking about… I’m talking about the world of smart and creative thinkers, writing on faith. I’m talking about people who aren’t violent. I’m speaking from a position of privilege and I know it. But so what?

Within the community of writers I respect, there are precious few willing to go out on a limb and claim passion/conviction. Nobody is willing to get drunk and throw down. I want to get drunk and throw down. I want to say what I think, at the risk of pissing people off. I want to fight with people I think are wrongheaded. I want to have a reason to apologize.

Some toes suck. Some toes deserve to be respectfully stepped on. We all need to toughen up.