What’s a Jewish Wedding Mean to You?

Am I allowed to do this? Use Faithhacker to give a plug to a friend who is not Jewish, but is doing a KICKASS non-Jewish project that will totally rock your world? More to the point, can I find a way to somehow connect my friend and her non-Jewish project to Judaism so I don’t feel too bad about it?

Hmmm?

Never hurts to try…

With spring coming on, I’ve been thinking about weddings lately, and it’s a pretty tricky topic for me. I’ve gone on the record in the past as having some pretty strong opinions about the stupid ideas people have about weddings.

But for religious Jews, weddings are (in theory) meaningful religious ceremonies, and for secular Jews they contribute much to our sense of cultural identity and community.

Just where do you fall on the spectrum? What IS a Jewish wedding to you? Is it about a big party and a spinning chair, or do you really feel you’re going to be married within a faith? Do you plan to observe the religious guidelines for marriage?

Just how Jewish do you want your wedding to be? Do you plan to fast? I didn’t even know about some of this stuff!

I mean, what does it mean to go through the more common motions of those traditions—to sign a kettubah, stand under a Chuppah, or break a glass—if you don’t believe in the religious aspects of symbols? Why do it?

And perhaps the bigger question… for those of you who DON’T buy into the traditional religious rituals of the faith, how would YOU go about celebrating your marriage in a way that was more meaningful to you?

Would you create your own traditions, or borrow from other cultures? Would you forgo the rituals altogether? How can we—who are not traditionalists—make a wedding about something more than cake and expensive clothing?

My friend Sonya has done just that! She is infusing the wedding dress (that didn’t mean much to her) with a TON of meaning. She is using the dress to carve out space in her marriage for herself as an artist, a woman, and a member of a much larger community. Which makes the dress (she didn’t care about) mean the world to her. Pretty damn cool, right?

So now… how can we do that? How can we fight the impulse to just spend a heap of dough and fight with our mothers, before jetting off to Mali for a honeymoon?

And the bonus question: Can you find the pictures of ME on Sonya’s site (there are 2 of em)?