Oh, it’s Monday! Which means that the topic should definitely be alcohol, because frankly, it hasn’t left your system yet. Pretty sure you either have a Second Day Hangover, Mono or Syphilus and you’ve wound yourself up into a ball in the bathroom and BBMed every friend you know asking if Greg is known to…have something remnant of a slide you saw in Phys Ed when you were in 11th grade that made you want to cry. Actually, the thought of it right now is kind of making me want to weep at my figurative desk, that Kelsey is 409-ing. But really, let’s talk about booze because its only four days away from Friday.
It is no secret that I drink like a girl. What do I mean by this? Mostly just clear liquor (vodka, gin) and soda or tonic. Pretty boring, but pretty standard. Every Birthday Pregame I’ve ever gone to, I’ll pour some Skyy in and stir it around with a pink straw. Maybe I’ll go nuts and have a splash of cranberry. But just a splash. How much is a splash? I dunno, enough to turn it pink but not enough to include enough sugar that it will adhere itself to my love handles.
I was talking to a guy friend of mine who said that a girl who doesn’t drink beer is a dealbreaker for him. Thankfully, we went out once and it crashed and burned but now we’re friends. But is something such as an alcoholic beverage enough to dismiss a potential mate? Like, can’t you go into your figurative corners and I’ll have a pink solo cup full of Crystal Light Vodka and you can have some lager or ale or something?
I know plenty of FFJDers, and other girls, who just…don’t like beer. I’m not sure if it’s the taste, the heavy feeling, the fullness, or just the fact that you can’t drink it with a straw that turns a lot of us ladies off to it. But is it fair to judge a girl based on this? Sure, guys often make a hobby out of beer drinking – whether it be some strange pumpkin ale or fancy DogCatHead whatever it is. But I sort of think to not be able to date a girl who doesn’t drink beer (or love it as much as you do) is a little…unfair. I’m not dumping anyone because they don’t drink an FFJD VSC (Vodka, Soda, Splash of cran. Chicks. Love. Splashes. Splish splash.)
Now, I know it’s a little extreme to say that you wouldn’t date someone based on an alcoholic preference. But given how many jappy hours I attend for People Who Shop at Loehmanns or Enthusiasts for Blackberry Messenger (that particular happy hour isn’t fun because everyone is too busy staring at their phones) where this issue comes up. I’ve even had guy friends say to me how important it is that the girl he is dating can do a keg-stand (well, not a keg stand, but be able to toss back some brewwwwskies).
In my mind, I sort of wished I drank beer. This is not an uncommon thought for girls, is it? Or is this just me hopping up and down on one foot trying to please. Granted, for some reason, there is a particular cache to a girl who drinks beer, no? Have I misjudged that as something that guys really like?
Either way, please pass me a straw. No, no, the pink one.
What do you think?