Now Reading
FFJD: Would You Go To Prom With Me? Of Cors(age).
Slut for Slicha
A Very Jewcy Rosh Hashanah
Snipped and Satisfied
Schtupless in Seattle
Gefilte Guilt
Messy Meshugane. Again.

FFJD: Would You Go To Prom With Me? Of Cors(age).

In keeping with the theme of reinvention of FFJD (not unlike Jill Zarin’s new, less movable face), and high school makeover dreams (maybe that was just me), I wanted to take a moment to discuss prom. Prom. Maybe you went with a limo of 15, you were all spray-tanned within an inch of your lives, and you got to make out with that boy from the next town over in a fit of passion that you haven’t experienced since.

I, on the other hand, went to a small, wonderful, hippie-commune high school where we didn’t have cheerleaders. Or prom queen. Or valedictorian. These facts, coupled with my propensity to bury my head under a pile of textbooks and color code everything, led me to have two somewhat mediocre prom experiences.

Junior year: Note to self – never go to prom with a blind date.

My junior year prom I was set up by my best friend with a boy I didn’t know. At all. I’m not sure why we thought this was a good idea, but she was taking his friend and I was dating some textbooks so I figured why not. The boy was a total sweetheart, and I was, totally awkward. (I clearly hadn’t gone on enough first dates yet in my career as a first-dater.) Said boy, however, decided to dye his hair an odd color the day before prom.

Note to self: don’t dye hair day before prom.

So there I was, with my spray tan, makeup done (I looked Asian, which is fine, I’m just not sure what combination of foundation and mascara made that happen from the woman at Elizabeth Arden), waiting for my knight in shining Sun-in. Sure, prom was fun, but I didn’t really like the guy, and he was a good sport. I, however, was totally uncomfortable sucking face with a guy I’d just met that night. (Oh, how things change! Badum dum.) So I took him outside, looked him square in the face, and said, “I am not going to hook up with you.” I know. I still cringe thinking about it. To this day, he still jokes that I am the “sapphic” girl. I think he was just pissed I wouldn’t hook up with him. Which is sort of valid, because it’s prom, but whatevs, I was too busy deciding whether or not apple martinis were my favorite drink.

Senior year: note to self, if your hair is Japanese-straightened, it won’t hold a curl.

Senior year I went with one of my best friends to prom, and our prom photo is one of the best pictures I own. We are arm in arm, mid extremely loud laugh. I guess I’m not doing anything to help my “sapphic” reputation, except for that I now write a dating blog. (Making up for lost time, anyone?) Enough navel gazing (although I am looking at my navel while typing this, and wondering if I should have gone through with piercing it at 15. Thankfully I decided no).

Fast-forward to now. The point of this post, is that I finally got my prom. It only took six extra years.

My boyfriend (don’t worry, there are several stories to come, including meeting 40+ members of his family at second-night Passover seder), knowing I hadn’t really ever been asked to prom (and always wished I had been), did on Friday night. Sure, it might have been in the form of not one, but two parties being thrown by Capitol File & MSNBC for the White House Correspondence Dinner. (Beats a Marriott or ballroom, no? Except the guys aren’t in silver vests. I feel like every prom photo some dude decided to wear a silver vest.) He even brought me a corsage. (I know, can FFJD be a teen movie already? We can make it 90s style and I’ll wear crop tops and love my Gucci backpack.) Not to mention, Andy Samberg was there. In my head, we ran across the room towards each other in slow-mo while I encased him in FFJD stickers, but really I just stared from afar, vodka/soda/cranberry/splashoforangejuice/splashofcucumber/splashofFFJD in hand. I’ve got a better guy anyway. (Just no Laser Cats.) I did the Herve Leger, and the Spanx, and got my hair done.

Prom-at-24: Note to self, Spanx + Herve Leger = asphyxiation.

But the moral of the story is, it’s never too late to get what you want.

____

FFJD is here, redone and dazzling for you. I hope you’re as excited as I am. Now who’s going to hold my hair back, steal my corsage, and be the slore who makes out with not one but two boys from the lacrosse team? (Omiggooooood are you going to Becca’s lakehouse afterprom party?? THE THEME IS CAMO!!)

____

Email meredith@theffjd.com

Follow FFJD on Twitter!

Posted: May 4, 2011

View Comments (5)
  • How is it that just anyone can write a weblog and get as popular as this? Its not like youve said anything incredibly impressive more like youve painted a quite picture above an issue that you know nothing about! I dont want to sound mean, here. But do you actually think that you can get away with adding some quite pictures and not seriously say something?

  • Good post. I learn something tougher on different blogs everyday. It’ll at all times be stimulating to learn content from other writers and observe somewhat one thing from their store. I’d choose to use some with the content on my blog whether or not you don’t mind. Natually I’ll offer you a link in your internet blog. Thanks for sharing.

  • Бебешки и детски дрехи, играчки, колички, кошари, обувки и козметика за деца Kidsito.com, комплекти за изписване, детски дрехи, дрехи за момиче, дрехи за …
    Разгледайте нашите стилни детски дрехи. Открийте ежедневни ключови модели, детски обувки и аксесоари за бебета и деца в [url=https://kidsito.com]detski drehi adidas[/url].
    Онлайн магазин за качествени детски и бебешки дрехи-внос от Турция и от български производители. Магазинът предлага ежедневни и официални детски дрехи за …

  • This web page is usually a walk-through its the internet you wished about it and didn’t know who must. Glimpse here, and you’ll certainly discover it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Scroll To Top