By now I am sure you have all heard of Shaindy.com, which is a website catering to Orthodox Jews who want to meet other Orthodox Jews for extra-marital affairs. I am also sure you have browsed through – and laughed at – the Chassidic sex ads in the casual encounters section of Craigslist. Many of you may have even seen the Tefillin Date blog or tried to search for frum porn yourselves, either because you are truly interested in finding some hot women wearing nothing but sheitels, or you are a serious porn fan who likes to find new and exciting varieties of smut online.
I personally am fascinated with the whole subject of frum porn, purely from a statistical perspective (girls in long skirts just don’t do it for me even if they are showing a little more ankle than normal). You see, I run a popular Orthodox blog that makes fun of Orthodoxy. Due to Google’s search engine algorithms, many people who come to my site are searching for frum porn. Not just frum porn, but everything from "naked Lubavitch girls" to "Chassidic gang bangs", and much more. I have wondered for years what exactly they expected to find, who these people were, and what exactly would constitute frum porn.
By definition frum porn would be oxymoronic – that would mean that the porn stars would have to be dressed modestly and this would defeat the entire purpose of porn in the first place. Maybe it would mean that all products used in the video were certified kosher, and before licking any cream products off of each other the porn star would make the required blessing. Maybe all of the male stars had to be circumcised, or the women had to keep their hair covered during the video.
"Bais Yaakov Girls Gone Wild" has been in my imagination since I was 15. I never thought there were any other sick yeshiva guys like myself, but I have been surprised again and again by the search traffic to my site and the random emails from horny Chassidim in Brooklyn who think that I hold the key to their frum porn adventures.
Several months ago I wrote about the Hot Chani phenomena sweeping through religious neighborhoods in the New York metro area. "Hot Chanis" are religious women who wear wigs but dress very scandalous with tight short skirts, hooker boots and lots of makeup. I posted an example and was flooded with emails from people seeking more pictures. I told them I was not in the porn business – but that they should take s stroll down any street in Flatbush if they wanted some Hot Chani action.
I have been rethinking this whole comedy thing, seems I could make a killing in the frum or Chassidic porn industry.
This awesome article first appeared on April 1, 2009 and has been republished as part of the series JEWCYEST WEEK EVER.
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