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The Israel Apartheid Shmooze: Vocab for the Newbie

Previously: Dress to Profess

Now that you're dressed for Israel Apartheid Week, (and looking totally killer, might I add), you need to learn the lingo. Luckily for you, Jewcy's handy phrase-book for freedom fighters will have you ready to chime in and participate in the groupthink. But remember: it's not so much what you say as how you say it. So long as you can shout these words, it doesn't even matter what they mean!

  • Palestinian Refugee: Anyone who lived in or is descended from someone who lived in the region known as Palestine for a minimum of two years before 1948. Victims of oppression who have an innate and exclusive right to this land that they called home for at least 24 months.
  • Islamophobe: Anyone who questions you.
  • Zionism: A nationalist movement, different from other nationalist movements because this one is for Jews. Responsible for pretty much everything wrong in any Arab country. See also: fascism, evil.
  • Israeli Apartheid: No different from South African apartheid, except that Palestinians in Israel enjoy the same legal rights as all other citizens. If not for Israeli apartheid, Palestinians would enjoy a flourishing economy, thriving educational system, and awesome sewers.
  • Palicaust: Genocide and ethnic cleansing against the Palestinians. Unique in genocides in that it actually increased their population in the West Bank, Gaza, Jerusalem, and worldwide.
  • Occupied Territories; Occupied Palestine: Anywhere a Zionist or Jew goes.
  • Expansionism: The term for Jews returning to Israel. Started in the Middle Ages. Explains why Jews were in the majority in West Palestine in the 1800's. When Israel withdraws from Arab land (such as Gaza or the Sinai), this proves they have an insidious expansionist agenda.

If you're attending a picket or protest, bring along a poster or sign. WikiHow has a super helpful tutorial on making bubble letters. Here are some phrases that look great on poster board:

  • Bush Lied
  • Free Palestine
  • No Blood for Oil
  • Occupation is Terrorism
  • Jews Run the Diamond Industry

Next: Snappy Answers to Complicated Questions

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