A Dating Advice Column for Sexy Jews Who Schmooze

Hello Jewcers? Jewcies? Jewcy divas? We’ll work on it.

Anyway, even though we started ‘The Weekly Jewce’ last week, we’re already expanding and building a nice community here! So, starting Friday, ‘The Jewce’ will include an advice column written by the one-and-only Arielle Kaplan, whose writing you will often find on Jewcy.com.

Dating as Jews is hard, and no one really talks about it, so we decided to. Here at ‘Jewcy’, we are committed to creating a space where you can tell us your problems, and we make them worse. Kidding! We can only go up from here, right? Without further ado, meet your new—as she calls herself—Yenta-Jewish-Dating-Prophetess. I hope you’re as excited as I am.

Isaac, Editor of Jewcy.com

Hey Bubbela,

It’s me, Arielle, your local Jewess yenta prophetess. Are you underwhelmed by the Jewish dating scene? Do you feel like an orange and/or green M&M, anxious and undershtupped? Well, If you’re reading this, it’s not too late. I’ve been enlisted to help the Children of Zion fulfill daddy god’s number one request — “Be fruitful and multiply!”

What makes me, a lonely and horny Jew, qualified to help you navigate your life and be a light amongst the nations? Not to brag, but from surviving barrages of online Jew-hatred and French kissing IDF soldiers to my tenure on Jswipe and the Lox Club, I’ve cashed in more than enough mitzvah points to transform you from a shande fur die goyim to Good for the Jews.

So, my desperate little M&Ms, how can you reach me for dating and general life advice? Send your questions to heybubbela@gmail.com. And don’t fret or hold back, I’ll always preserve my bubbela’s anonymity.

xx,
Arielle